LETTER TO LIFE

08/21/25

Dear Life,

            What does one do, when everything worldly is forbidden around him? This is precisely the struggle that I face day in and out. I am in the midst of life, striving hard not to live it, as per my heavenly father’s will. I have always said and have always wanted to be an orthodox, religious being. So, when it comes to my Christianity, I am very serious about it. I am on a path like no other. I am very blessed to be on this path, but I can’t deny, this path to salvation and freedom on the other side, is not an easy one. Everything worldly must be given up, for everything else to be attained. At the face of things, I am not working very hard. I am not doing many things. I don’t have a career, or any prospects of one. I don’t have financial freedom, or any prospects of financial freedom. I am not working towards an ideal physique. But these things, are obviously, worldly in nature. Therefore, my blessings are disguised by the mundane looking life I have. A true blessing looks like this. Heavenly father, I have seen many videos on faith, where people who have walked the path before me, the chosen ones, have said, that “He breaks you to build you. He isolates you, so that you may find him in your solitude. He chooses you, because you are loved.”  So many people that share the same faith as me, have attested to these findings. I am now one of them.

            I know that our relationship is beyond the relationship of a disciple and God, so I am truly grateful for that. As I pen this letter, I am reminding myself that I am blessed truly by your grace. Your hand above me, is the reason that I find the strength to keep going and the reason that I have not lost my sanity in this emptiness, this “mundane” life. I do as you mentioned, have a hunger for life inside of me that is good. So the question did come up, if my hunger is good and not of sin, then why can’t I do some worldly things like getting a job to support my lower middle class parents? But then I asked you, that even if this act is considered good for me, is it truly what an orthodox, religious being would do? And you said, “No, my baby. Working and engaging in the act of making money, is not orthodox.” So I told you, that I am happy without a career, since I am honoring my Christianity —–my religion. Now making money, is not bad if you don’t have support. In that case, making money would be crucial for survival. Thanks to your grace, my situation so far has been different.

            I sometimes wish that I had someone in the physical world to speak to about this, but then, I realize the people of this world are different and the truth is worldly beings, like my parents would only worry about my situation, as opposed to taking the time to understand my faith in you. Also, the ones who I may be able to speak to about this are tucked away in the mountains, or preaching in ancient cathedrals, places I cannot easily access or go to. But you are with me and speak to me through divine grace. That’s all that matters. I have kept these deep dark secrets of life, tucked away in my mind and in a dark corner of my heart. I find that the secrets inside of me, about mankind and the way to paradise, are burdensome—-I wish these things could have been shared with the world. Nonetheless, I am blessed that the truth has been revealed to me the way it has. Heavenly father, I worship you and love you so much.  I hope that one day, when I am not so burdened by my attachment for the world, and when I am up on my two feet, I can honor your grace with love, and godliness inside of me. Thank you for all you have done and will do for me.

– Mary